Spirit Polish.

I'm 23, and I am still learning a lot of things. One of those things is how to be alone.

Last night I thought my little heart was going to crack in two from the yearning I have to be held close by my family back home. They visited oh so briefly last week, and for those few days I felt safe. Like I was back in the nest, or tucked tightly under wings, warm dry and not afraid of falling.

We ate Chinese food in my parents holiday apartment on the Saturday night, just like we used to every weekend at home.

We're a small unit, but by golly we're a tight one.

There is no force more powerful in my life.

This speaks volumes to me about the infinity of legacy and the love of family.

They left and I took a rather big fall with impeccably bad timing.

I received some news regarding my health that wasn't so great, and it left me reeling.

I turned to him, because it is all I've known for some time, but the reality came hard that my heart is still reeling from that too (and rightly so).

I think it is the times like these that take the shine off your spirit. You plough through feelings of heartbreak, loneliness and loss and try to find the best way to handle them, and attempt to polish your spirit because you're terrified it'll never look the same again.

The other night a good friend just sat and cried with me. I was gracious for such a small and mercy, and very touched. Having a lap to collapse into when the world gets a little rough and tumble is a salvation I'm blessed to have, even if I forget that I have it sometimes.

“ In each of us lie good and bad, light and dark, art and pain, choice and regret, cruelty and sacrifice. We’re each of us our own chiaroscuro, our own bit of illusion fighting to emerge into something solid, something real. We’ve got to forgive ourselves that. I must remember to forgive myself. Because there is a lot of grey to work with. No one can live in the light all the time. ”

- Libba Bray

The power of positivity may have escaped me temporarily, but I'm willing to ram it back down my throat until I'm throwing up rainbows, kitten and unicorn dust once again.

In the mean time, I find writing to be cathartic.

A little more soul polish for the road...

Happy Earth Day.

Happy Earth Day!

I grew up in a family that was a little enviro-centric.

My fathers entire career was based in and around the natural environment. Bush walking, spotlighting, trips to national parks, waterfalls, fish hatcheries, environmental museums and 'greenies' who lived in trees, had beards to the floor and smelt funny were all a big part of my childhood.

My dad used to drive this wicked bright green station wagon when I was a kid. My fondest memories from childhood involved our little family piling into that car, and taking off to any given state forest or national park.

We'd have an esky full of leftovers, and a thermos full of tea and our faithful border collie came everywhere with us.

I remember the smell the most. Damp growth is still one of my favorite smells in the world.

We'd go on these massive bush walks. Dad up front, me in the middle, and mum bringing up the rear. Dad would teach me the names of all the species of plants. I learnt early on how to identify Lantana, or how to remove stinging nettles. Our dogs would stop for a drink alongside trickling streams while we peeled leaches off our ankles and scoffed down cold leftover sandwiches.

Sometimes he'd borrow the big four wheel drive from his work and we'd drive along the dirt roads in the state forests with the spotlight rigged up, finding possums and all kinds of creatures. Looking briefly, but never touching.

Every year we traveled to Dorrigo for a week. Mum used to be in regional shows up there. Our favorite place were the waterfalls. I can't even tell you how many times I swam under them as a kid, or how cool it felt.

Dorrigo waterfalls. Favorite place on earth.

The environment holds a special place in my psyche. I loved that it played such a huge role in shaping my childhood, and I hold very high hopes that I'll be able to provide my own children with similar experiences in the future.

My family taught me that you don't have to be a crunchy granola living in a tree to be connected and concerned about the environment, but you DO have a responsibility to the earth.

In the spirit of doing ones part to protect what is left of our ailing environment, check out this simple list of 25 wasteful things you can live without.

I also encourage you to sign the Handmade Pledge.

Every time you make, or purchase from an independent artist or crafter, its a small step away from the phenomena of mass production. The environmental effects of mass production are a major contributor to the cause of global warming, not to mention pollution and landfill.

If you're not convinced, watch this.